Hey, I’m your mommy.

It’s been a few years since we met now. I know you think you know me, but I’ve mastered only showing parts of me to certain people.

I’ve mastered making people feel like they know me and my life while living what I’ve always referred to as “the secret life of Bri,” or what the kids call “side quest” these days. Having a life full of those to keep to myself is so important.

I’ve realized that I’ve even managed to do it as a mother…hide & disguise parts of me. You see, most people will read all this and judge me… not realizing the strength it takes to have true accountability.

Today I got overstimulated as fuck. I had to explain to my daughter what was happening. I had to explain to her what I was feeling, what I was experiencing, as best as I can. I also asked for her support in those moments.

Today I had to get outside for my mental health & for my emotional stability. I showed her something mommy likes doing that I usually avoid bringing her with.

Why? Because I like to be alone.

Because I like to go places w no phone.

Because I love and appreciate presence when I’ve had to show up daily on social media for work and attracting new clients/customers.

Because bringing her usually causes me more stress and anxiety.

Mom mode, car seats, child safety, caring for someone other than myself.

THEN! She started off not enjoying the walk.

She complained.

She thought the prickly things were gross.

She got tired on the 2.5 mile walk out and the 2.5 miles back.

I had to carry her 2 miles back on my back while people only walked the trail caring for themselves…

I had a child on my back.

Still had more pep in my step. Still ahead of everyone else without losing my place, even though I had to take breaks, adjust, enjoy the scenery, and continue on the journey.

Did it with ease. Did it with a child on my back. Depending on me for safety & security.

The stress, the challenges, the anxiety, the responsibility, the weight…

Oh, now God is talking to me through me getting outside, connecting with myself, and showing me my strength.

Heard you. Thank you.